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Around. Over. Through.

Preparing for, and Overcoming Obstacles

Why do we fail?  We have created a rock solid plan.  We have identified our “why”.  We are motivated to do the daily work.  We understand and have accepted it won’t be easy.  We also understand there are no guarantees.  We are betting on ourselves; we’re all in!!!!!!  Until we’re not.  If this narrative sounds familiar to you, and if you’re being emotionally honest with yourself it should; it’s because you and I have been through it.  This is why MOST people fail.  The journey is longer than we imagined.  The work is harder, the days are longer.  The payoff, whatever that looks like for you; isn’t coming fast enough.  We fail because we didn’t expect the amount of obstacles we faced.  Every time we thought we reached the mountaintop, we soon realized it was just a ridgeline and there was still a lot of climbing left to do.  The difficulty in setting goals is that we cannot control what may come up along the way; this little thing called LIFE.  We focus on these barriers and give them all of our attention and energy.  We let them defeat us.

Let’s explore what life looks like in pursuit of our goals.  Let’s reflect back on the first two blogs as a resource (Start. By. Starting. and Steps to Prep Mental Strength Training) and let’s explore what will try to stand in our way.  Remember, as you go through this work, avoid the bullshit you tell yourself far too often, and tap into your emotional truth.  The only way to get better is by confronting what is holding you back.  These obstacles come in many forms; and some wear great disguises.  They are disguised as friends, opportunities, smooth roads, and quick fixes.  They typically do not bring us closer to our goals.  Only we can identify what life challenges affect us, and we have to plan accordingly.  Not to avoid them, that is impossible.  By identifying what they “could” be, we can plan our way Around, Over, and Through them.

Obstacle # 1: The path to your PURPOSE/GOAL will not be straight or smooth

What a wonderful concept to imagine.  You create a plan, solidify your “why”, hit “GO” and if you follow that plan, the end result is exactly what you desired.  That is not how it goes.  When starting our work, we have to prepare to pivot, adapt, and in some cases, find another way.  There are many different paths to the same destination.  By recognizing this beforehand, you are much less likely to give up once other obstacles begin to stand in your way.

Obstacle # 2: Those who do not share your Vision, could not possibly understand your Goals

One of the toughest obstacles we face in pursuit of our Purpose is the disappointment you will feel when others don’t share in your excitement.  This is a very common obstacle and although it stings, it’s a necessary part of the process.  You have to embrace the notion that NO ONE wants this as much as you do, because it isn’t theirs to want.  It’s yours.  Some will support you from a distance.  Some will not support you at all.  And some will want you to fail. Few, if any, will ride this out with you from start to finish.  In the next blog, we’ll look at identifying who those people are and how they can help you.   Most people want you to do well, but never better than them.  Once you realize that, you begin to strengthen your personal resolve to a level you never imagined possible.

Obstacle # 3: NO FEAR Mentality

Anyone who says they are FEARLESS is full of shit. Neurologically, it is impossible.  Some of us recognize and manage fear better than others, but none of us are free from fear.  When we attack our goals with a “fearless” mentality we are often doomed to fail.  As the old quote goes, “everyone is a fighter until you get punched in the face”.  This resonates very strongly with anyone who is pursuing a lofty goal.  By recognizing you will be afraid, you remain in control of that fear, and do not allow it to control you.  Give that fear a name, acknowledge it, make fear your friend and you have taken ALL the power from that fear and put it back where it needs to go; your fuel tank for continued growth.

Obstacle # 4: You vs. You, Mindset and the thought of Failure

One of our biggest challenges in accomplishing big goals is our own self-doubt.  Can I do this? Am I strong enough, smart enough, talented enough, etc etc?  Every one of these doubts are completely normal and a natural part of the process.  The difference between the people that keep pressing and those that stop is their Mindset.  Both have these questions of doubt everyday.  The one who continues onward recognizes that doubt but doesn’t invest any time, attention, or energy in it.  All of these questions of DOUBT come from FEAR, and we’ve already addressed that obstacle above.

Obstacle # 5, Limited ResourcesVery often goals are created using a “best case scenario”.  Do your very best to flip this idea on it’s head and envision accomplishing your goal with NOTHING.  That’s right, you are being tasked to accomplish this mission from start to finish using only your head, heart, voice, and body.  Anything else you receive along the way is a gift, never an expectation.  Eliminate the idea that you will have everything you need, when you need it and you’ll very quickly realize how capable you are of accomplishing this purpose without it.

I hope the above obstacles help you to reflect on what will arise for you as you embark on this amazing journey of redefining your purpose and solidifying your “WHY”.  The beauty of your work is that YOU create the blueprint.  Here are some strategies/suggestions for navigating the challenges outlined above and staying on course.  Like everything else in life, you will get out exactly what you put in.  This shit is not easy, as I’ve “failed” more times than I’ve succeeded on my personal journey.  I don’t have all the answers and can only hope to provide you with some principles that have helped me, and many others break through the barriers that stand in the way of our growth.

1. Plan to be uncomfortable at times: Discomfort is not a bad word; once we realize it is essential for our development.

2. Evaluate how much you believe in yourself: You cannot expect anyone else to buy what you’re selling unless your belief in yourself is uncompromising.

3. Encouragement and Motivation should come from YOU first: Remember, creating expectations of others will leave you disappointed more often than you know.  BET ON YOU first.

4. Reframe Questions around self-doubt: “Why are people not supporting me?’, SWITCH TO “Why do I need their support right now”.  Taking personal control means taking personal action.  

5. Create a BADASS Daily Routine: Consistency is a strong ingredient for growth.  Do the same thing to start and end each day.

6. Show me Your Friends, I’ll Predict Your Future: Intentionally surround yourself with the right people, even if that means distance from others.

7. Say YES to everything that brings you closer to your goal: Step up to opportunities and challenges you may never have before, even if they scare the shit out of you.

8. Allow struggles to create strength: The same reason most people quit can be used as fuel for the journey.  Once we recognize there will be some pain along the way, that pain becomes a passenger along for the ride.  Pain no longer drives the bus.

9. Keep your “WHY” in front of everything else: Whatever that “WHY” is for you; it must be stronger and more adaptable than any “WHY NOT” that may present itself along the way.

10. Be present, and do the small things first: This is a journey, in some cases without a finish line.  Focus on what you can control, when you can control it.

Resources for Support:

Author Profile, Eckhart Tolle: If any of these blogs resonate with you, please do yourself a life changing favor and begin reading some of Tolle’s work.  Two of his best are listed below, with links.

The Power of Now 

A New Earth, Awakening to Life’s Purpose